The memory is still fresh in her mind. When Stéfanie André was pregnant with her third child, she had a temporary contract as an Assistant Professor. “That created a lot of pressure,” she says, looking back. “I thought: my contract will soon end, and then what? While I was pregnant, I felt I had to work even harder on my career.”
According to André, many young scientists experience this kind of tension. “After your PhD, you try to get a permanent position, usually during the time when you are also starting a family. This is still too often seen as an either-or choice: either a career or a family. That pressure is stronger for women. They have to deal with their biological clock ticking, and are out of the running longer than men due to pregnancy and maternity leave.”
In her workshop, she wants to create space to talk about this pressure. “It is valuable to share our experiences around it. And to show that it can be done: a family and an academic career. In both situations, failure is bound to be part of it, so it's best to embrace it.”
Balancing between ambition and motherhood
During the workshop, André shares her own academic journey, past non-renewed temporary contracts, rejected scholarships, and motherhood. “I want to show that an academic career does not have to be a straight path. You don't automatically grow into, say, a Professor or Director of Research position.”
Participants are invited to discuss these matters in small groups. Under the guidance of facilitators, they are invited to talk about their own experiences and their concerns about failure. “Sharing your worries makes them lighter. People are often afraid of falling short, while failure is simply part of it.”
André herself eventually learnt to let go of perfection. “It's a balancing act between home, what I want for myself, and the demands of my work. In the end, I discovered that not everything is possible, and that's okay.” Motherhood also changed her work ethic. “I used to work through the evenings, now I stop in time to pick up my children around 5 p.m. Tomorrow is another day.”
That limitation is now proving to be a strength. “I have become more efficient and more conscious in my choices. I now ask myself: when is it enough? You can tinker endlessly with a research study or text, but at some point, you have to say: it's good enough.”
At the same time, André is fully aware that she is speaking from a position of privilege. “I now have a permanent position, so it's easy to talk. Temporary contracts create a lot of pressure, especially when you have children or a desire for children.”
Solidarity and openness
According to André, part of the solution lies in solidarity. “We don't all have to be doing the same thing. For example, from the perspective of Recognition & Rewards, there is no need for everyone to bring in grants. One person focuses on research, another on education or impact.” By sharing experiences, people become aware that rejections are normal. “For every grant, there are more rejections than successful applications.”
André sees that scientists are also increasingly talking about rejections, for example on LinkedIn. That culture shift breaks with the image of ‘nothing but success’. In her workshop, she creates a safe setting with clear agreements: you treat each other with respect, everyone can say something, but you don't have to say anything. “Openness and safety are important in this context, because you are sharing something very close to you. And of course, I also need that safe and open atmosphere to share my own story.”
Keeping it fun
What André especially wants to impart in her workshop are new perspectives. “My PhD supervisor once said: every diversion has something to offer. Not everything has to contribute directly to your CV.” Disappointment is normal, but it does not have to dominate. “Our work is important, but not so important as to let a rejection ruin your week. Humour and putting things into perspective help. And above all, keep having fun in what you do.”
What does she hope to achieve with her ‘Shiny Failure’ workshop? “If one or two participants look at themselves with more kindness as a result, it will have been a success. After all, making mistakes is part of learning and growing.” And if that fails? She smiles: “Then I will have failed, but I will have done it radiantly.”
Women from outside academia, as well as men, are also welcome to join the ‘Shiny Failure’ workshop on Tuesday 10 March. Want to know more or register? Read on...
Photo: Edu Lauton via Unsplash